


My Weakness

by JusticeIsBittersweet



Category: Death Note
Genre: Angst, Delusion, Guilt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-07-27
Packaged: 2018-02-10 16:56:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2032692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JusticeIsBittersweet/pseuds/JusticeIsBittersweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It can't be. L is dead...right?</p>
<p>Light is having a hard time convincing himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Weakness

It couldn't be.

A shadow above him, towering over where he sat. A mess of raven-black hair. Wide, soulless eyes, gazing at him with hostility and hatred. Pale skin and dark circles. A slumped posture, which soon became upright as the man straightened his back, stretching to his full height. An intimidating gesture.

But he was dead.

Light had watched him fall, watched his eyes slide shut, felt his heart cease to beat, an empty shell, lifeless, motionless...

Dead.

Yet there he was, this magnificent, beautiful detective, back from the dead to play his mind games once more.

"Hello, Light-kun," L drawled in the same emotionless tone he remembered. "Did you miss me?"

_Yes, I have missed you. You have no idea._

Instead, Light, who had been staring upwards with a mix of fear, awe and surprise, resumed his blank expression, placing his elbows against the armrests of his chair and leaning back casually into the padded seat.

"Hello L," he replied in a slightly strained yet mainly indifferent voice.

The two of them stared at each other, tense, two snakes waiting for the other to strike first. The silence was deadly, the air charged with the hatred and love that flitted between the two of them, both remembering lingering touches, soft kisses, muttered words and rough sex late into the night. Both remembered the harsh yells, the biting remarks, the long arguments and the angry punches thrown.

Both were torn. What should they do in such a situation? What would  _anyone_  do in their position? Any sane person would walk away from the other, though neither Light nor L were anywhere near sane.

L turned away, his back stooped once more.

Light stood, reaching out and clasping his shoulder in a firm grip. Warmth under his fingers. The warmth of a living body, a living L, and it made him want to break down. He wanted nothing more than to wrap himself around the older man, though instead he settled for keeping his hand where it was and waiting for L to face him.

An angry L was not a nice L. He had learnt that the hard way.

"Can you forgive me?" Light asked eventually. His heart was thudding rapidly, beating a fast rhythm against his ribcage. L was here. L was alive. L wasn't in a grave six-feet-under. L was living, breathing, moving.

The man turned. His black eyes were downcast, his whole body shaking. "No," he murmured. "I cannot. You killed not only myself, but many others. Some were innocent people, or people who never had a chance to redeem themselves. You are a murderer Light-kun. How can I forgive you for that?"

He wouldn't allow the tears to fall. "Can you give me a chance to redeem myself? To repent my sins? Would you give me a chance to pay for every innocent life I took?"

"Why should I?" L snapped, his voice harsh and laced with venom. The first snake to strike. His fangs had sunk into Light's heart, sharp tips leaking poison.

Now, Light's turn.

The kiss was soft and gentle, tender and loving, desperate and needing. L was responding, and he could already hear the walls of loneliness crumbling, his need and want overpowering hatred, until nothing was left but love. L and Kira. It should never have been, yet it was all the same.

The kiss deepened, becoming hungrier, more demanding, more wanting. Hands groped, mouths sucked, moans slipping loose around the other's tongue. Now Light was pinned against the wall, unable to move though not wanting to move. His eyes were screwed shut, his mask peeled away to reveal his content. L fixed his arms above his head, kissing down his jawline, down his neck, then back up to his mouth again. The teen wrapped his long fingers through raven hair. So soft.

"So, Light-kun. Back to where we started, I believe." L muttered, his mouth right beside his ear, warm breath tickling the sensitive skin. Yes, back to where their friendship became something more, Light pinned to the wall, L pressed against him. Years later and they were still the same. Still childish. Still stubborn.

Light rested his head against the older man's. The warmth comforted him, calming him. "Why did you come back? If you truly hate m-"

"I never said I hated you," L snapped. "I just hate your beliefs."

"There is nothing wrong with wanting a crime free world."

"The world will never be crime free, Light-kun," L replied, still keeping his head bent over him. "Does fear of the death penalty prevent you from killing? No. Therefore is it right to expect criminals to cease committing crimes because a power-hungry boy with a god complex threatens them? I thought you were smart, Light-kun."

"Fuck you." Light shoved him back, though it was no secret that L was stronger. The older man barely moved, simply raising an eyebrow at the childish display.

"Language," he chastised.

There was a minute of silence, before L spoke again. When he did, his voice was barely audible. "In answer to your question...I came back because..." There was a thoughtful expression on his face. "I missed you. Despite all you've done...despite what I said before...I think I can find it in my heart to forgive you. To give you another chance."

Light growled underneath him, the sound taunting L's inner animal. "So why did you lie to me earlier? Do you like hurting me?"

"No."

"Then..."

"I'm confused. I shouldn't like you. This goes against every moral I've set for myself, and I expect it's the same for you. I've fallen for my enemy. I'm not allowed to forgive you. I should turn you in."

Light wondered if L could feel his heart pounding. This man could undo all his hard work, everything he'd been fighting for over the last few years...gone. "But you aren't...are you, L?"

_Because if you are, I'll have to kill you. Though this time, I'll make sure you stay dead, despite how much it would hurt me._

The silence stretched into hours, it seemed, as Light waited for the dreaded reply. He stared into the man's dark eyes, searching for the truth.  _Work with me. Stay with me. Be mine. Don't make me do this._

"No," came L's reply. "Because you are my one flaw. My weakness. And I'll be damned if I let anyone else hurt you."

And, with that, L pulled the trigger.

The gun had been pressed against him all this time, Light realised as he collapsed into the man's arms. The weapon fell from L's grip as he held him, kneeling on the floor with a pained expression on his face.

_What has he done?_

Light began to yell, both at the excruciating pain in his side and the knowledge that he, the God of the New World, was to be inflicted with the same punishment that Kira had bestowed upon the filthiest of creatures that walked the planet. He gazed at L with a mournful expression.

"I can't let anyone else hurt you because you are  _mine_. I want to give you a second chance but I can't let you live, not after all you've done. It only seems fair that I should be the one to kill you, yes? After all, you were the one to kill me."

Light felt his eyes widen in shock. "You're..."

"What, you thought I was alive? Impossible. You saw me die. You felt no pulse."

"But how come..."

L smiled sadly, leaning down to kiss him gently. When he pulled away, his mouth was smeared with crimson, and the horrific sight was enough to make Light turn away, closing his eyes to shut out the pain, the physical pain, the pain of grief, the pain of guilt. He felt those chapped, blood-stained lips slide across his skin, over his cheek and down his neck, coming to a stop by his ear. His words were harsh, but the voice tender.

"See you in Hell...Light-kun."

Light opened his eyes. L was gone. The bullet was still lodged into his side, the blood spilling over the ground though, as he turned his head, he saw that the gun was not where L had dropped it but was instead gripped tightly in his hand.


End file.
